I can’t be absolutely sure about this one, but I have my suspicions. I came across this sign at a school in Scholar Green:
This looks to me like the work of an alien from planet Sdikesebo, who specialise in altering signs to undermine our health and wellbeing. They are responsible for the many No Ball Games signs which one sees on grassy areas suitable for ball games.
The ‘No unauthorised activities’ bit is intriguing. Is there a list of authorised activities? How long is it? Does it include, for example, picking your nose while eating a plum? Or sniffing your ham sandwich to see if it’s still OK? Does the Director of Education have this list?
Perhaps what he has is a list of Unauthorised Activities. Things like cycling or climbing trees. But would such a list include things like Rollerblading on the roof of staff cars, to take a random example of something that the Director of Education is not likely to authorise? The poor D of E is placed in a difficult position: Even if he has a full-time team of risk professionals working flat out extending the list of Authorised activities, and another team working night and day extending the list of Unauthorised activities, there will still be infinitely many activities that don’t appear in either list! Actually this looks like a potentially successful job-creation scheme for local government.
On a deeper ethical level one has to ask whether to assume that an activity is authorised until evidence emerges to the contrary, or to assume it is not authorised and refrain from any activity whatsoever. Things would be so much simpler if the Director would publish his lists on the Internet!
Should he do so, however, don’t trust it an inch, as it is likely to have been modified by aliens from Sdikesebo.